The Shoe-ting Star ( thats me) !!

Well it seems I find my gift for cracking PJs being challenged by another PJist. I had cracked a shoe PJ but my friend dint seem to find it too funny and came up with her own list of shoe PJs. Well this only means i publish my own set of shoe PJs to confirm my unrivalled talent for coming up with the poorest of jokes!(Its a talent alright). These PJs are an attempt to better the better PJs of my friend who tried to better on one of my better PJs.
Tahole shoe-roo kori amar PJs !
1.What did one shoe say to the other shoe?
Ans: lets CONVERSE !!
( this was the PJ that sparked it off...she dint seem to like this gem of a PJ. But its a free country)
2.What instructions did the police officer's shoe get?
Ans. To shoo-t at sight !!
3.Why did the shoes get appointed as a lifegaurds?
Ans. Because it was a pair of FLOATERS!
4. What did one intellectual shoe say to the other intellectual shoe?
Ans. Tor Milton er Kon Verse (converse) bhaalo laage?
5. Shomdev the Shoe sat for the entrance exam of which college?
Ans. 'JU'to
6.What does the shoe do in its free time?
ans. Listen to songs by Kabir Shoe-mon
7.Why did the shoe go to the movie hall?
Ans. To watch the shoe-per hit starring shoe-shmita sen!
8. Apart from Sreeleathers and Khadim which is the other Bengali shoe manufacturing company?
Ans. Adi Das
9.Why was Mrs.Shoe angry at Mr.Shoe?
Ans. Because he had got the BOOT at his job.
10. Which film did Amitabh Bachchan's shoe go for?
Ans. BOOT-nath
11. Shoes are not known for drinking tea. They probably prefer cho-tea !
12. (my personal favourite) Why did one shoe hit the other shoe?
ANs. Because he had called him Shoe-rer Baaccha !
13. Which was the first shoe to go into space?
Ans. Obviously the shoes of Shoe-nitha Williams .
14.Which are the most musical pair if shoes?
Ans. The shoes of Franz Shoe-bert!
15. What did the upset girlfriend shoe say to the boyfriend shoe?
Ans: How could you be so heart-lace !!

Well the war has shoe-rly begun now. You can be assured that shoe-shovan's PJs are as nonsensical as Shoe-kumar Ray's Aabol Taabol!

BANDH AGAISNT OUR RED INDIANS!

I was supposed to fly to Dubai on the 6th of June, Friday but could not thanks to the BANDH called by CPM and Mamata Di. These political parties have surely mastered the art of bringing the city to a grinding halt at the snap of a finger and it is truly amazing to see how easily we comply with it. While the bandh called by political parties meant party time for some, I unwillingly too had to be a party to it! Well how can I protest but by cracking a few irritating PJs.

These Communist Parties identify themselves with the colour RED or LAAL and it is surprising that ‘LAALu Prasad isn’t a communist! When Brinda Karat received a love letter from CPM supremo Prakash karat during their college days she probably must have said “It’s a RED letter day for me”!! I wouldn’t be surprised if our CM Budha Babu’s daak naam is LAALtu and during his childhood the only bed time story he loved listening to was the RED riding hood!One can only wonder where they get all their energy from?? Maybe from RED bull! No wonder then that most of the things these Reds speak is all Bull! I would pay anything to see our Bandh loving comrades in the LAAL bazaar thaana!

The bruises suffered by our city cannot be healed by any Band-aid , it probably needs BANDH-Aids!! Neither can the dirty politics of Bandh be cleaned by any dry cleaners..not even Band Box dry cleaners but only by the BANDH –Box dry cleaners!!

Well for some strange reason they call themselves LFTISTS and for these political honchos left means right and right is wrong. Nothing more to say when they have LEFT the state at God’s mercy. These bandhs seem to be more precious to them than 24 KARAT gold!

Sometimes I wonder what CPM really stands for. The most appropriate would be Constantly Protesting Men or Continuously Procastinating Maniacs! These politicians are ideally supposed to be a friend of the ordinary person and they surely have proved to be a loyal BANDHu !

At the same time Mamata Didi has proved to be no less vociferous in protesting against fuel price hike than her dada Budha babu. She ties him a rakhi on every rakshaBANDHan day and sings “Bhayia mere rakhi ke BANDHan ko nibhana”! when it comes to calling a HARTAAL Mamata Buddha ke HAR-TAAL se taal mila rahi hain!!

I don’t know how long this bandh culture will continue to cripple our beautiful city of Kolkata but I earnestly pray they do not call a BANDH against this blog!

I.P.L ( I. Pj . Lots)

Alright so here i am at last…venturing into this rather unfamiliar territory of blogging. Well let me tell you at the outset that I have had a blog account since June of 2007, so that’s a year of absolutely squeeeky clean blog of mine because nothing has ever been written in it. Finally it was a friend of mine who responds to the name of Mrinalini Vasudevan ( also responds to the names maaru and moplah) , whose blog on what else but PJs motivated me to share my share of PJs. In 19 years this is perhaps the only ‘art’ iv managed to be good at so why not share it with everybody. And what else could be a better topic that the current flavour of the country..the IPL. So here are a few PJs that iv managed to come up with.
P.S : no apologies to the people reading this post or to the ones iv joked about.

1.Umar Gul has proven to be our most successful bowler in the IPL but which bollywood actor always ignores him??

Ans. GUL- SHUN GROVER

2.But in the middle Umar Gul wasn’t really bowling that well and Shahrukh n Buchanan decided to exile him to the moon. So how did they break the news to him??

Ans. Gul-ab Jaa-moon !!!

3.Why are the commentators thankful that the legendary West Indian bowler Michael Holding not playing in the IPL against Kolkata Knight Riders

Ans : Because then the commentators would have to say “ the bowlers Holding the batsmans Butt” !!!!

4. How did Salman Butt anyway get into the team??

Ans : By BUTTering Shahrukh and John Buchanan

5.I heard Salman Butt was very upset.

Ans: ‘Cuz he was made the BUTT of all jokes!!


6 . What would you call a film starring Sehwag and Bipasha Basu??

Ans : The Bald and the Beautiful

7.And what would be Bipasha’s comments on Sehwag??

Ans: he completely BALD me over with his good looks and acting !!

8. Who is the only cricketer serious enough to not appreciate my PJs ??

Ans: Gautam GAMBHIR

9. After Bhajji got banned from the IPL he decided to start his own biscuit brand in collaboration with Parle-G. so what did he call his biscuits??

Ans: Bhaj-G

10. What did Ness Wadia the owner of Punjab team say when he saw his side thrashing the Mumbai Indians??

Ans: BOMBAY DYING !!
( for all those laughed at this PJ without understanding it…Ness Wadia’s family owns the fabric company BOMBAY DYEING)

11. And why did the other co-owner of Punjab, Preity Zinta get skin rashes ever since she bought the team??

Ans : She got hit by YUVI RAYS (UV rays) !

12. Had Brett Lee been playing for Kolkata then the three fast bowlers Lee,Gul and Ashok Dinda would have preferred playing a totally different game.which game??

Ans: Gul-lee Dinda !!!

13. If Brett Lee ever does join the Kolkata Knight Riders he would probably re-name himself BRETT GANGU-LEE !!!

14. VVS Laxman has been out injured for most of the IPL season so like his good friend Bhajji he too decided to do something new and acted in a film with the great Rekha, but sadly nobody watched the film.WHY??

Ans: Cuz they couldn’t cross the Laxman-Rekha !!!

15. What was the real reason behind Vijay Mallya’s anger at Rahul Dravid??

Ans : Cuz after loosing a match Dravid said Vijay Maal le aa !!

Well as the Loony Toons say “That’s All Folks”. More next time.